Full Story of the Royally Ticked off Half-Klingon
by Amaris Ethne
Summary: B'Elanna plays a little trick on Tom and Harry. For humor purposes only!


The Royally Ticked off Insane half-Klingon with Relay Cutters.  
By: LadyNeptune  
  
I know you hate them, but I have to write it. It's my only chance to play lawyer.   
Standard disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Star Trek: Voyager. As much as I wish I did. I'm just using them for my own twisted pleasure ::evil grin::. This story was written for fun and not a profit. Star Trek and all of its characters are owned by Paramount Pictures. DARN!!!   
  
  
  
  
Tom and B'Elanna were in holodeck one; B'Elanna was resting with her head lying on Tom's chest, sipping a glass of wine Tom had replicated. Tom was leaning against a tree, watching twin suns setting over a crystal blue ocean. The sky was alive with deep pinks, purples and oranges. He too was sipping a glass of wine, and debating weather or not to get up and set out the picnic he had brought for him and B'Elanna. B'Elanna sighed and pressed her head closer to Tom.  
"It's beautiful Tom, a lot like the sun sets on Kessik IV." B'Elanna said. Tom smiled and raped his arms tighter around her.  
"The sunset is only the second most beautiful thing here." He whispered in her ear. B'Elanna smiled and turned to face Tom in his arms.  
"Oh relay?" B'Elanna asked, scooting closer to Tom.  
"Uh-hu." He said as he bent down and their lips locked together in a show of their love for each other.  
BEEP "Lieutenant Torres, please report to Engineering." Lt. Carey said over the comm system.  
"On my way." B'Elanna said, breaking her kiss with Tom. She hated to leave.  
"Tom, I'm so sorry. I guess this is the bad thing about being Chief Engineer."  
"That's okay. Say, how about I come and help, then we'll be done sooner..."  
"And get back to our date. Sure, come on." B'Elanna said and stood up.  
"Computer save program ParisPicnic, then end program." Tom commanded. The computer beeped and the intricit network of the holodeck walls replaced the beautiful sunset. Tom picked up the picnic basket and followed B'Elanna out the door.  
  
Down in engineering the shield generators weren't working properly. Not that it really mattered, they weren't up at the moment, but the captain wanted them to be ready. B'Elanna sighed and took her toolbox from the shelf in her office and handed it to Tom then grabbed her tricorder off her desk.   
"Let's go. We can start at the out put station."   
"Just as long as we can get back to what we were doing." Tom mumbled and hurried to follow B'Elanna out into main engineering.  
  
A few minutes later Tom was kneeling next to B'Elanna who was half submerged into an opening on the wall. Tom bent down and scanned the inside as he had been doing for the last few minutes.   
"Tom, hand me the plasma injector." Tom nodded and dug into the toolbox by his side until he found the tool and placed in B'Elanna's waiting hand.  
"Here. That won't work, 'Lanna."   
"Yes, it will." She argued.  
"It isn't the relays; it's the containment." Tom said matter-of-factly.  
"The plasma containment has nothing to do with this!" B'Elanna yelled and banged her elbow on the wall.  
"Actually, if you would just go by the book this wouldn't happen." Lieutenant Carey said, walking up to investigate his chief's progress.  
"Who asked you Carey? If we always followed Starfleet's hair-brained protocols we'd be dead by now." B'Elanna snapped. Carey felt his temper rise like it all ways did when someone talked badly of Starfleet.  
"Hair-brained? Why you little-" He started, but didn't get to finish.  
"Carey, get out of here before I through you into the warp core." B'Elanna snapped, head still in the access panel.  
"Jeez, someone has an attitude. " Carey muttered under his breath, not thinking anyone could hear him.  
"GO!" He was wrong.   
"Fine, see ya Tom." Carey turned and hurried out of engineering before Torres could make good on her threat.   
"Bye. 'Lanna, couldn't you have been a little more civil to him?" Tom said.  
"Shut up Tom, or I'll rip out your tongue and where it as a belt." B'Elanna called from inside the opening. Tom laughed.  
"Go ahead."  
"Tom-" B'Elanna said and sat up from her position. Tom attempted to move, but he wasn't fast enough and B'Elanna caught the neck of shirt, then moved her hand to encircle his throat.   
"All right! All right! I'll shut up, just let go! 'Lanna, I can't breathe!" Tom yelled as he struggled to get free from his fiancé's grip.  
"Fine." B'Elanna said and just as quickly as she had grabbed hold she let go of his neck. Tom fell on his back onto the deck, panting.   
"Jeez, you have a good grip there. Remind me not to tick you off again." Tom said as he sat back up and rubbed the bruises forming on his neck.  
"No problem. Now hand me a fuser. " B'Elanna said and lowered herself back into the access panel.  
"Here, why waste your time on this? I mean it isn't the relays that are the problem..." Tom asked as set the fuser on B'Elanna's stomach.  
"Tom-shut up." B'Elanna said and reached down to grab the fuser  
"If it were then the whole warp core wouldn't be working..." Tom kept going, ignoring B'Elanna's command.  
"Tom..."  
"And it is..." Tom said, again ignoring B'Elanna.  
"Tom..."  
"So it isn't the relays..."  
"TOM" B'Elanna yelled, trying to get the annoying pilot's attention.  
"Which means it's the containment."  
"TOM SHUT UP!" B'Elanna screamed and launched herself up and out of the access panel and at the startled helmsman. One hand was placed on his neck, pinning Tom to the wall while B'Elanna searched the toolbox with the other hand.   
"Okay, ow. Easy 'Lanna. Easy. Don't kill me don't oh, Jeez! Put the cutter down, 'Lanna, put it down, come on. Don't kill me, just put it down. You don't really want to kill me, do you?" Tom began babbling as B'Elanna let him go and finally found the object of her search.  
"Yes." She said, smiling and looking a little too much like a tiger attacking her prey.  
"'Lanna, please. Just. Put the cutters down. Jeez! That was close!" Tom jumped back into a corner as B'Elanna swung the cutter toward him.  
"Stand still." B'Elanna commanded a fiery gleam in her eyes.   
"OW! You cut me! 'Lanna, please. I'm sorry, okay. I'll shut up. You were right. It was the relays, just please, don't kill me. Get away from me with those will you, they're dangerous. Heck, you're dangerous." Tom again started babbling as he got out of the corner only to be nicked on the shoulder by the cutters.  
"Hey, what're you guys doin'?" Harry asked as he walked over to Tom and B'Elanna.  
"Harry, help me! I think she's gone nuts!" Tom yelled and ran toward is friend.  
"Nuts? Yeah right Tom. I don't think B'Elanna will ever go nuts." Harry said in disbelief.   
"Oh yeah?" Tom asked as B'Elanna swung the cutters in their direction.  
"Wow! Okay, I could be wrong. B'Elanna please put those cutters down. Come on don't kill us." Harry said, startled, and began to back away from the "crazy" half-Klingon.  
"Why not?" B'Elanna asked and quickly cornered the two frightened friends.   
"Uh, Tom?" Harry asked from his position in the corner back-to-back with Tom.  
"What?"  
"I think we have a problem." Harry stated.  
"No really? My half-Klingon fiance has gone nuts and cornered us, she's royally ticked off and coming at us with relay cutters. I don't see any problem with that, do you?" Tom asked sarcastically.  
"No." B'Elanna answered and continued her slow approach.   
"Tom, it was really nice knowing you. "  
"Shut up. She isn't serious, is she?" Tom asked, still not willing to believe that B'Elanna would kill him.  
"She looks pretty serious."  
"Then it was nice know'n ya Harry."  
"This is it!" Harry yelled when B'Elanna got close to him and shut his eyes. Tom looked away. But, instead of Harry's scream, Tom heard laughing. B'Elanna's laughing.  
"You guys are so stupid!" B'Elanna panted between giggles.  
"What?!" Harry screamed as he almost passed out from relief.   
"'Lanna, what are you talking about?" Tom asked and moved away from Harry to stand face-to-face with the still laughing B'Elanna.  
"'Harry, help I think she's gone nuts' Tom you idiot, did you actually think I would kill you?" B'Elanna asked, imitating the high-pitched cry of Tom.  
"You were joking?" Harry asked.  
"Yep. You should have seen the look on your faces." B'Elanna said between giggles.  
"I can't believe you tricked us!" Tom said, astonished. He was usually the one to play tricks.  
" Believe it Flyboy. Jeez, that was funny." B'Elanna said, laying her head on Tom's chest for a brief second.  
"No it wasn't." Harry frowned at her  
" Actually it was a pretty good trick, come on Harry where's your sense of humor?" Tom asked, putting his arm around B'Elanna's shoulder and gazing at her affectionately.  
"Maybe it got cut out by your royally ticked off insane half-Klingon fiance." B'Elanna said. She and Tom both broke out laughing.  
"That's not funny." Harry said, his frown deepening.   
"Oh, come on Harry. Lighten up. She really fooled us." Tom said, reaching over and giving his friend a punch on the shoulder.  
"All right fine. I guess we were pretty stupid." Harry said, a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.  
"You think?" B'Elanna asked from her place beside Tom.  
"Come on, 'Lanna, let's go get something to eat. You comin' Harry?" Tom said, putting his hand in the small of B'Elanna's back and guiding her toward the door and calling over his shoulder.  
"Sure wait up." Harry said, jogging to catch up with his friends.  
"What's Neelix making tonight?" Tom asked.  
"It better not have any leola root in it." B'Elanna said, making a face of disgust.   
"If it does we can reheat the picnic." Tom reminded her.  
"Let's save that for later." B'Elanna said a sly smile on her face. Tom chuckled.  
"Uh, guys? Let's not tell anyone about this." Harry said, coming up beside the two lovebirds.  
"Yeah. 'Lanna? You're not going to hold this over my head for the rest of my life, are you?" Tom asked, sliding his arm around her waist.  
"Yep." She said, a wide smile on her face.  
"'Lanna!" Tom yelled, his beautiful blue eyes wide.  
"What? It would make a great toast at the wedding." B'Elanna said, laughing at Tom's expression.  
"'Lanna! You wouldn't." Tom yelled, disbelieving.  
"Yes, Tom. She would." Harry pointed out.  
"Come on, B'Elanna. Please?" Tom asked, putting on his most innocent face. B'Elanna's heart missed a beat. She loved when he gave her that look.  
"Fine, but I will never let you guys forget this." She said after a moment's hesitation.   
"Great." Harry said, rolling his eyes toward the ceiling.  
"No kidding." Tom agreed.  
  
THE  
N  
D 


End file.
